Holy Poo, Batman!

It's so cold here today! I know my sister, in Wisconsin, would laugh at me as their high for today is 1 degree with a wind chill of -35, but it's so cold here today. There are times that I would have sworn that I was colder here in Texas than I ever was in Wisconsin. Maybe that's due to the fact that our houses are often not designed or insulated for the below 50 temps, and so few of us southerners seem to know how to dress for the cold weather.
And, admittedly, the FM makes 65 seem really brisk these days, but, whatever, I'm sticking with it's so cold here today!

Squeak is nearing her first birthday and think I'm in a bit of denial. She however is not. She is working hard on all things big; walking... standing... getting nekkid and emptying the spice cabinet...pictures later ;-)
One of the other things she's working on is food. She's been food crazy since she was about 3 months old, but I managed to hold her off until she was 5 or 6 months old, and let me tell you, that was not easy. The things that can go on in a mother's mind when big decisions like starting solids come into question!

Now, Monkey had no issues. I wanted to keep him exclusively breastfed until he was a year and he wanted to hold off until he was 3. Okay, not really, but the boy did not care for solid food and it was a non issue. He ate what we gave him when he was hungry and that was that. No troubles. It should also be noted that our food choices, unfortunately, were often not always the healthiest.

Squeak on the other hand.....
Wants all food that we have. Begs for it. Feels hurt when we don't share. :*(
Everything we eat is so healthy that well, it's almost embarrassing in this culture.
I waited until she was 5 or 6 months before I finally felt so horrible for denying my toothless little pleader that I began giving her things that she was happy to chew on, like raw carrots, but couldn't really get to her stomach. So, all were happy again, but....

As time went on she became very good at gnawing on raw fruits and veggies until they began to mush and become baby eats. This seemed like a really natural progression and I felt good about it.
Then, enter the poop saga. Or, the no poop saga as it were.
Fast forward to now, at 11 months, and we have some definite constipation. So, of course, my mommy brain is screaming "She's 11 months old! She's 95% breastfed! My diet is awesome! She only gets a little raw, organic food! She can't poop! OH MY GOD SHE MUST HAVE A BOWEL OBSTRUCTION!"
Now, I'm a reasonably rational, intelligent person. I know, you can tell, right?
Okay, reasonable enough to know that this, um, might not be true.

So, my question is this, Doc:
1. She's 11 months old and 95% breastfed.
2. Our diet looks like this:
-Our dairy (all of it) comes from a local farm, and is raw. But wait! There's more! It's also
from cows which meet these criteria
-Our eggs come from local, organically raised, pastured hens.
-Our vegetables and meat are always organic.
-If it comes in a package, we probably don't eat it.
-We don't eat sweeteners other than honey, and occasionally, brown rice syrup or maple syrup.
-We buy all of our grains whole and either sprout them or ferment them before eating them
weather we are eating them whole or we ground them ourselves. With one exception; we
eat a pre-made, sprouted grain bread and occasionally pasta or tortillas from the
same company.
-We eat vegetarian meals 4 times per week, a red meat dish 1x, poultry 1x and Wild Alaskan
salmon 1x. We also include one serving of organ meat each week, as well as a bone broth
at least once per week.
-Miso soup for lunch every day.
-Sunny side up egg with side of fermented whole oats for breakfast every day.
-Uh, yeah, that's it. Exciting huh?
3. Of these foods Squeak gets a some raw, organic fruits, vegetables and, as of a couple days ago, the occasional egg yolk.
4. In addition to the distilled water, we also sip herbal teas and infusion daily. These include one or some of the following:
-Nettles
-Oatstraw
-Peppermint
-Lemon Balm
-Chamomile
-Red Rooibos
-Horsetail
-Ginkgo
-Red Raspberry leaf

So, now that the only one left reading is my faithful mother (oh, wait she doesn't have a computer!) Damn, okay, Dear Reader,
Please, please, tell me why my baby is constipated!
Why does she push for days before finally producing some little petrified rock???
Please, for the love of all things, don't tell me to get rid of the dairy. I'll cry. I promise, but if you must, at least tell me a good reason why so that I can repeat it to myself when I'm chewing my lettuce for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, I should also cop to the fact that I have been known to succumb to the tempting call of the Whole Foods pizza counter or have friends over and make something that doesn't meet all our criteria. Some of these dietary changes have been in place for years, some only consistently so, for a few weeks.
Oh, and if you could tell me what to tell Squeak when she pleads for a bowl of oats or some smoked chicken....that would be great, Dear Reader.
You're the best!

Mondo Beyondo!

My Mondo Beyondo answers:

This is going to take a little time for me, but I am going to start by declaring 2007 is Complete!!

And 2008 is going to be my Year of Power, Peace and Change!
Woot!
In 2007 I discovered the power and strength of my being, both body and spirit. I delivered a healthy baby girl at home, against all odds!
I learned and grew and changed and healed my body from being unable to walk unassisted to running and playing with my son and carrying my baby girl. If I relapsed I refused to give up and I worked harder. I have profoundly changed my diet and the diet of my family for the greater good . We no longer eat pasteurized dairy, we eat only organic, everyday we work towards getting our food from local sustainable farms, and we are now headed to a life with whole, living foods, fermented grains and true knowledge and faithful abidance of real nutrition.
My Superhero and I work on our love and life everyday, even in the face of and often during our failures.
I have learned from and admired many strong, powerful, high reaching women as well as the inherent knowledge in my children!
I have cared about and done something real for the future of our planet and species, and I will never consider myself done.
In 2007 I began to get an inkling of what simple and abundant living could be, and I will keep it always in my sights, to the very best of my ability.
2007 was a year of bravery, blind courage, strength, love, growth, healing and real optimism and appreciation. 2007 was a very good year and 2008 will be even better. I can feel it.
I think Yoda said it best when he said, "Do or do not...there is no try." ;-)

More later.

Healer In the Making

I've recently enrolled in the Master Herbalist Program at The School of Natural Healing, and I've spent the last few nights devouring the first of my coursework, which has just arrived. I'm so happy to be excited about something that feels so real. I find myself having to remind myself to slow down the way that I must with a really good page-turner, fiction book.
I look forward to the days when I will be able to offer true healing to anyone who will come for it, and I can't wait to tell them that I will not be charging them a thing. I'm one of those weird people who believe that the right to health shouldn't cost a thing.
I can't wait to have a garden and greenhouse full of fresh herbs and shelves lined with dried ones.
I feel a real fire in my bones and it doesn't feel like it can ever be snuffed out.
Yay!

Radical Acts of Humanness

We've just heard that friends of ours are navigating a loss that most of us will never understand.
They set out a year ago to adopt a baby (their second adoption) and have been through trials, uncertainty and work which most biological parents do not experience. They set out, they gave their hearts and their hope, they loved and named and awaited, and on the day they expected to bring home their baby they were told that it wouldn't be so. The biological mother changed her mind. Anyone can see the beauty which that holds for this tiny baby, but the awesomeness lies in the radical act of voluntary vulnerability of these two incredible people.
They knew that this heart wrenching outcome was a possibility and ,in fact, we spoke about it only days before, and yet, they opened their hearts and minds and wallets and home as if it was not, and what an honorable. worthy. fine. example that sets for the rest of us.
I cannot begin to know what they are experiencing now, but I know that this idea of choosing, mindfully, to leave exposed our hearts and minds; to offer ourselves up for the love of hope and the hope of love is truly awe-inspiring to me and has taken root somewhere deep in me.

Our friend told us that when their last baby was born he held that tiny newborn for six hours, just bonding, connecting, loving.... throwing to the wind the knowledge that it may be the only time. Could you do that? Could you love and give yourself wholly and completely and intimately for the love of a soul that can offer no promises? Could you imagine a world where we all lived in voluntary vulnerability? Could you even go to the grocery store in a state of voluntary vulnerability? Being and living true to self ... no matter what?

Today I save a quiet place in my heart for reverence of our friends and I wish them peace and deep love to ease their pain.

Farm To Market

Wednesday is Farmer's Market Day for us and I always look forward to it. We never seem to be able to get to the morning farmer's markets, but this one is in the evening and just perfect for us.
It's just big enough to get all kinds of fresh and prepared goodies but small enough to be intimate and a great place to hang out. It's held in an area that allows for a band and picnicing, which we do every week.
Tonight was excellent. All the vendors have their tents strung with lights of all kinds, the music was a lone sax and the air was just brisk enough to allow us to pull up our hoods and get our noses a little pink. We munched on some of the most delish Thai food that Austin has to offer, made by our friend Jam , sipped some fresh, local, hibiscus mint tea, said hello to friends and played a little tag with Monkey. Squeak tested out her new mobility and visited some of the other picnic blankets asking for food. She's such a cute little ham butt!

The day started out rough with a lot of pain and fatigue, but it ended with me being able to run in circles playing tag with Monkey and chasing Squeak on her social adventures. Yumminess!

Take A Picture, It'll Last Longer

My grandmother sent me a mug that says, "Life is good..." on one side and "Do what you like, like what you do" on the other. It's on of those big heavy, curvy, old-fashioned diner type mugs and I love it. This morning I put my daily cup of mate late tea with chocolate sweetened almond milk in it and as usual reminded myself that no matter what happens today, it is a good day. I remind myself that every day is a good day and it all matters.
I tell myself that hours and days and minutes are false and my awareness of life is true. I tell myself that the good moments, however brief they may be sometimes, are the big moments, the moments that will occupy more time and more space in my mind that any number of hours of pain or trials. I try to think of it like a photo album filled with image after image of smiles, babies, reunions, friends, special moments, surprises, favorite places; the things you take pictures of, the things you want to remember and share. Or maybe a file cabinet, where pain and trouble go in one big fat file, but the whole rest of the cabinet is jammed with good moments that each get their own special file and place in the cabinet. If I make a file for enough good little life nuggets they will over take the cabinet and that single fat file.

Today is a day with some pretty intense nerve pain throughout my left side so My Hero is home to care for us. So today I will be happy for the company of my husband, for the beautiful beautiful Autumn weather, for the green lawn dappled with sunlight through the leaves not yet on the ground and knowing that today has endless opportunities for meaningful moments.
Tonight we will all draw our creations on our pumpkins and SuperHero Daddy will carve them all out for us, in anticipation of Halloween. Yay!

Harvesting Life This Autumn

The days have been so good to me the past two weeks! How extraordinary to once again fold piles of warm laundry and cook hearty meals for my family. What a gift to be able to carry my little Squeak around and wrestle with my sweet Monkey! The pain sneaks in, quietly while I prepare dinner, but I tell it to hush and wait while I delight in the time I'm sharing with my family, no longer on the sidelines. It pokes and waits, but I growl at it and shoo it to the corner to wait, just wait, till I get the babies to bed, and it does. It hunches in the corner, red eyed and growling back, but it waits for me to lie down and accept it's gnawing, which I do with a heart filled with the satisfaction of having been with my family and once again living life. My Superhero lights the candles around the rooms, turns on some sweet music and delivers to me some special treat; a foot rub with some hot cocoa, some honeyed herbal tea and a thick novel, some velvety rich sweetness that is Chocolove with my laptop... Mmm, yes, we are in the business of Living. Of truly living each day.

Autumn is in full swing here. The green grass is full of leaves that crunch underfoot, the temperatures have dropped leaving the air feeling moist and brisk and finding a little warmth in the sun is purely divine, and the pecan harvest at our house is inexhaustible. We have three pecan trees and with little effort have already bagged nearly 8 gallons of pecans. Last night, after yesterday morning's storm, we all went out after dinner and padded, barefoot, through the lawn looking for fresh pecans. Squeak was all snuggly in her fleece sling on Daddy's chest, enjoying the up and down ride of bending and standing with each find. I was toasty in my layers of thermals and hooded sweatshirt, with one sock off for pawing and one on to keep as warm as I could, alternately sipping and breathing the sweet warmness of my Redbush tea with vanilla.
Of course my silly little Monkey was bounding around in shorts and boots singing, "I like the cold, even the snow!" stopping only to give the grass a trim with his safety scissors so we "Won't have to pay the lawn guy anymore, Mama!"
We managed to collect about two and a half gallons on pecans before the sun had set so far below the horizon that we could no longer see the pecans we were feeling.
Oh Autumn! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach...