Wednesday, December 17, 2008
My wish in sharing this is not to give you sadness.
It's not to give you images of horror.
My wish for you is hope.
My wish for you is vision. Clear vision and understanding.
My wish for you is hope. Hope for us.
Hope that we can do better.
Hope that we can be better.
Hope that we can remember. Not just at the holidays. Not just when we see media images.
Hope that we can remember always that we are the priviliged. We are ones.
We can do better. We can change.
We can stand up and we can speak the truth.
We can look in the mirror and we can understand our role. That we can understand the need for a new way.
That it isn't something that happens "There"
That no war is rightous.
That Just because it doesn't say "Made in a factory by a 9 year old boy" DOES NOT mean that is made by a happy grandmother is Switzerland. That no plastic walmart toy is.
It's hope. Yes Hope.
Hope for you. Hope for me.
Hope that we remember that nothing is free. Nothing is cheap. Except Freedom.
Yes, that's right. Freedom does not come of money. It does not come of war. It does not come of pain.
Freedom comes of changed minds.
It comes of freed minds. Freed souls. You cannot free anyones but your own, but you may inspire.
The flight of your soul may inspire and lift thousands and by the thousands shall lift millions.
You need not rescue or heal a child. You need only give them the hope that they may... because you do.
This is my hope for you. For me.
For us all.
Free your soul. Walk through the pain, look it in the face, hear it's words. Fear is the only evil and you do not need it.
Knowing will never hurt you it can only free you of the fear of what lurks in the shadows. My wish is that you will look bravely inward and find that unaskable, unthinkable, unfathomable and ask, see understand. Don't look away, but let it seep out into the light... through your tears...through your questions...through your sobs or your screams...but let it disolve in the light and the power of you. Be thankful if you will, but don't believe that because it is "there" it could never be here.
My wish for you is hope.
I love you.
In this Christmas let us remember not what was but what could be.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Oh, Storm Clouds!
Have I ever told you how much I love a good storm?
I love a good storm. Crave them actually.
The excitement I feel when I see an ominous black storm cloud looming on the horizon!
I can feel the energy, hours before it reaches us, and my whole being becomes electrified with it.
The Power! And yet, I feel most at peace during the height of a crashing, whipping, booming thunderstorm.
I love to stand in the doorway, or even better, on a patio, letting the wind whip my hair as it howls through the trees and overhead. I get goosebumps at the pounding, drenching, earth cleansing downpour!
The smell of a thunderstorm can hardly be described, but I will try.
It begins in the distance...that a storm is coming sweet, wet, green smell in the air...then becomes something altogether more obvious...a heavy, woody, refreshing scent that I seem to smell with my heart as much as my nose.
A storm is a pleasure for all the senses. Striking contrast of black sky and electric light... scent that cleans and refreshes the soul... thunder; soft, distant, promising at first, then earth shaking, body quaking claps and cracks...and Oh! the feeling of it all! Heavy, thick, warm air leaving a layer of damp stickiness to your whole body... push your hair back from where it's stuck to your forehead...wait for the cool clean rain that is promising to come... Then it does. Complete with wind that takes your warm damp skin and turns it to goosebumps and if you dare, a shower like none other!
Summer storms are on the horizon here in TX already.
Mmmm, my heart thumps in my chest at the thought of it.
Monday, March 31, 2008
My Heart's Desire
I long for a soul sister.
I long to have that feeling of complete love and understanding from another woman.
A soul sister to laugh with, to cry with, to dance and paint and talk with.
To love and crave and play with.
To share my secrets and hide away hers.
I long for a woman to admire and be admired by.
A friend who knows the right thing to say and is there to say it.
A friend who can call me at any time of the day or night and know that I will be happy to hear from her and who wishes the same of me.
A friend who wants and tries to know what is at the heart of me.
My soul is crying out for you.
Where are you my beautiful friend?
I long to have that feeling of complete love and understanding from another woman.
A soul sister to laugh with, to cry with, to dance and paint and talk with.
To love and crave and play with.
To share my secrets and hide away hers.
I long for a woman to admire and be admired by.
A friend who knows the right thing to say and is there to say it.
A friend who can call me at any time of the day or night and know that I will be happy to hear from her and who wishes the same of me.
A friend who wants and tries to know what is at the heart of me.
My soul is crying out for you.
Where are you my beautiful friend?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
For All the Water and Air In the World
All the water and air on earth gathered into spheres and compared to the
On the Left: All the water in the world (1.4087 billion cubic kilometers of it)
including sea water, ice, lakes, rivers, ground water, clouds, etc.
On the Right: All the air in the atmosphere (5140 trillion tonnes of it)
gathered into a ball at sea-level density. Shown on the same scale as
the Earth.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Holy Poo, Batman!
It's so cold here today! I know my sister, in Wisconsin, would laugh at me as their high for today is 1 degree with a wind chill of -35, but it's so cold here today. There are times that I would have sworn that I was colder here in Texas than I ever was in Wisconsin. Maybe that's due to the fact that our houses are often not designed or insulated for the below 50 temps, and so few of us southerners seem to know how to dress for the cold weather.
And, admittedly, the FM makes 65 seem really brisk these days, but, whatever, I'm sticking with it's so cold here today!
Squeak is nearing her first birthday and think I'm in a bit of denial. She however is not. She is working hard on all things big; walking... standing... getting nekkid and emptying the spice cabinet...pictures later ;-)
One of the other things she's working on is food. She's been food crazy since she was about 3 months old, but I managed to hold her off until she was 5 or 6 months old, and let me tell you, that was not easy. The things that can go on in a mother's mind when big decisions like starting solids come into question!
Now, Monkey had no issues. I wanted to keep him exclusively breastfed until he was a year and he wanted to hold off until he was 3. Okay, not really, but the boy did not care for solid food and it was a non issue. He ate what we gave him when he was hungry and that was that. No troubles. It should also be noted that our food choices, unfortunately, were often not always the healthiest.
Squeak on the other hand.....
Wants all food that we have. Begs for it. Feels hurt when we don't share. :*(
Everything we eat is so healthy that well, it's almost embarrassing in this culture.
I waited until she was 5 or 6 months before I finally felt so horrible for denying my toothless little pleader that I began giving her things that she was happy to chew on, like raw carrots, but couldn't really get to her stomach. So, all were happy again, but....
As time went on she became very good at gnawing on raw fruits and veggies until they began to mush and become baby eats. This seemed like a really natural progression and I felt good about it.
Then, enter the poop saga. Or, the no poop saga as it were.
Fast forward to now, at 11 months, and we have some definite constipation. So, of course, my mommy brain is screaming "She's 11 months old! She's 95% breastfed! My diet is awesome! She only gets a little raw, organic food! She can't poop! OH MY GOD SHE MUST HAVE A BOWEL OBSTRUCTION!"
Now, I'm a reasonably rational, intelligent person. I know, you can tell, right?
Okay, reasonable enough to know that this, um, might not be true.
So, my question is this, Doc:
1. She's 11 months old and 95% breastfed.
2. Our diet looks like this:
-Our dairy (all of it) comes from a local farm, and is raw. But wait! There's more! It's also
from cows which meet these criteria
-Our eggs come from local, organically raised, pastured hens.
-Our vegetables and meat are always organic.
-If it comes in a package, we probably don't eat it.
-We don't eat sweeteners other than honey, and occasionally, brown rice syrup or maple syrup.
-We buy all of our grains whole and either sprout them or ferment them before eating them
weather we are eating them whole or we ground them ourselves. With one exception; we
eat a pre-made, sprouted grain bread and occasionally pasta or tortillas from the
same company.
-We eat vegetarian meals 4 times per week, a red meat dish 1x, poultry 1x and Wild Alaskan
salmon 1x. We also include one serving of organ meat each week, as well as a bone broth
at least once per week.
-Miso soup for lunch every day.
-Sunny side up egg with side of fermented whole oats for breakfast every day.
-Uh, yeah, that's it. Exciting huh?
3. Of these foods Squeak gets a some raw, organic fruits, vegetables and, as of a couple days ago, the occasional egg yolk.
4. In addition to the distilled water, we also sip herbal teas and infusion daily. These include one or some of the following:
-Nettles
-Oatstraw
-Peppermint
-Lemon Balm
-Chamomile
-Red Rooibos
-Horsetail
-Ginkgo
-Red Raspberry leaf
So, now that the only one left reading is my faithful mother (oh, wait she doesn't have a computer!) Damn, okay, Dear Reader,
Please, please, tell me why my baby is constipated!
Why does she push for days before finally producing some little petrified rock???
Please, for the love of all things, don't tell me to get rid of the dairy. I'll cry. I promise, but if you must, at least tell me a good reason why so that I can repeat it to myself when I'm chewing my lettuce for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, I should also cop to the fact that I have been known to succumb to the tempting call of the Whole Foods pizza counter or have friends over and make something that doesn't meet all our criteria. Some of these dietary changes have been in place for years, some only consistently so, for a few weeks.
Oh, and if you could tell me what to tell Squeak when she pleads for a bowl of oats or some smoked chicken....that would be great, Dear Reader.
You're the best!
And, admittedly, the FM makes 65 seem really brisk these days, but, whatever, I'm sticking with it's so cold here today!
Squeak is nearing her first birthday and think I'm in a bit of denial. She however is not. She is working hard on all things big; walking... standing... getting nekkid and emptying the spice cabinet...pictures later ;-)
One of the other things she's working on is food. She's been food crazy since she was about 3 months old, but I managed to hold her off until she was 5 or 6 months old, and let me tell you, that was not easy. The things that can go on in a mother's mind when big decisions like starting solids come into question!
Now, Monkey had no issues. I wanted to keep him exclusively breastfed until he was a year and he wanted to hold off until he was 3. Okay, not really, but the boy did not care for solid food and it was a non issue. He ate what we gave him when he was hungry and that was that. No troubles. It should also be noted that our food choices, unfortunately, were often not always the healthiest.
Squeak on the other hand.....
Wants all food that we have. Begs for it. Feels hurt when we don't share. :*(
Everything we eat is so healthy that well, it's almost embarrassing in this culture.
I waited until she was 5 or 6 months before I finally felt so horrible for denying my toothless little pleader that I began giving her things that she was happy to chew on, like raw carrots, but couldn't really get to her stomach. So, all were happy again, but....
As time went on she became very good at gnawing on raw fruits and veggies until they began to mush and become baby eats. This seemed like a really natural progression and I felt good about it.
Then, enter the poop saga. Or, the no poop saga as it were.
Fast forward to now, at 11 months, and we have some definite constipation. So, of course, my mommy brain is screaming "She's 11 months old! She's 95% breastfed! My diet is awesome! She only gets a little raw, organic food! She can't poop! OH MY GOD SHE MUST HAVE A BOWEL OBSTRUCTION!"
Now, I'm a reasonably rational, intelligent person. I know, you can tell, right?
Okay, reasonable enough to know that this, um, might not be true.
So, my question is this, Doc:
1. She's 11 months old and 95% breastfed.
2. Our diet looks like this:
-Our dairy (all of it) comes from a local farm, and is raw. But wait! There's more! It's also
from cows which meet these criteria
-Our eggs come from local, organically raised, pastured hens.
-Our vegetables and meat are always organic.
-If it comes in a package, we probably don't eat it.
-We don't eat sweeteners other than honey, and occasionally, brown rice syrup or maple syrup.
-We buy all of our grains whole and either sprout them or ferment them before eating them
weather we are eating them whole or we ground them ourselves. With one exception; we
eat a pre-made, sprouted grain bread and occasionally pasta or tortillas from the
same company.
-We eat vegetarian meals 4 times per week, a red meat dish 1x, poultry 1x and Wild Alaskan
salmon 1x. We also include one serving of organ meat each week, as well as a bone broth
at least once per week.
-Miso soup for lunch every day.
-Sunny side up egg with side of fermented whole oats for breakfast every day.
-Uh, yeah, that's it. Exciting huh?
3. Of these foods Squeak gets a some raw, organic fruits, vegetables and, as of a couple days ago, the occasional egg yolk.
4. In addition to the distilled water, we also sip herbal teas and infusion daily. These include one or some of the following:
-Nettles
-Oatstraw
-Peppermint
-Lemon Balm
-Chamomile
-Red Rooibos
-Horsetail
-Ginkgo
-Red Raspberry leaf
So, now that the only one left reading is my faithful mother (oh, wait she doesn't have a computer!) Damn, okay, Dear Reader,
Please, please, tell me why my baby is constipated!
Why does she push for days before finally producing some little petrified rock???
Please, for the love of all things, don't tell me to get rid of the dairy. I'll cry. I promise, but if you must, at least tell me a good reason why so that I can repeat it to myself when I'm chewing my lettuce for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, I should also cop to the fact that I have been known to succumb to the tempting call of the Whole Foods pizza counter or have friends over and make something that doesn't meet all our criteria. Some of these dietary changes have been in place for years, some only consistently so, for a few weeks.
Oh, and if you could tell me what to tell Squeak when she pleads for a bowl of oats or some smoked chicken....that would be great, Dear Reader.
You're the best!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Mondo Beyondo!
My Mondo Beyondo answers:
And 2008 is going to be my Year of Power, Peace and Change!
Woot!
In 2007 I discovered the power and strength of my being, both body and spirit. I delivered a healthy baby girl at home, against all odds!
I learned and grew and changed and healed my body from being unable to walk unassisted to running and playing with my son and carrying my baby girl. If I relapsed I refused to give up and I worked harder. I have profoundly changed my diet and the diet of my family for the greater good . We no longer eat pasteurized dairy, we eat only organic, everyday we work towards getting our food from local sustainable farms, and we are now headed to a life with whole, living foods, fermented grains and true knowledge and faithful abidance of real nutrition.
My Superhero and I work on our love and life everyday, even in the face of and often during our failures.
I have learned from and admired many strong, powerful, high reaching women as well as the inherent knowledge in my children!
I have cared about and done something real for the future of our planet and species, and I will never consider myself done.
In 2007 I began to get an inkling of what simple and abundant living could be, and I will keep it always in my sights, to the very best of my ability.
2007 was a year of bravery, blind courage, strength, love, growth, healing and real optimism and appreciation. 2007 was a very good year and 2008 will be even better. I can feel it.
I think Yoda said it best when he said, "Do or do not...there is no try." ;-)
More later.
Woot!
In 2007 I discovered the power and strength of my being, both body and spirit. I delivered a healthy baby girl at home, against all odds!
I learned and grew and changed and healed my body from being unable to walk unassisted to running and playing with my son and carrying my baby girl. If I relapsed I refused to give up and I worked harder. I have profoundly changed my diet and the diet of my family for the greater good . We no longer eat pasteurized dairy, we eat only organic, everyday we work towards getting our food from local sustainable farms, and we are now headed to a life with whole, living foods, fermented grains and true knowledge and faithful abidance of real nutrition.
My Superhero and I work on our love and life everyday, even in the face of and often during our failures.
I have learned from and admired many strong, powerful, high reaching women as well as the inherent knowledge in my children!
I have cared about and done something real for the future of our planet and species, and I will never consider myself done.
In 2007 I began to get an inkling of what simple and abundant living could be, and I will keep it always in my sights, to the very best of my ability.
2007 was a year of bravery, blind courage, strength, love, growth, healing and real optimism and appreciation. 2007 was a very good year and 2008 will be even better. I can feel it.
I think Yoda said it best when he said, "Do or do not...there is no try." ;-)
More later.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Healer In the Making
I've recently enrolled in the Master Herbalist Program at The School of Natural Healing, and I've spent the last few nights devouring the first of my coursework, which has just arrived. I'm so happy to be excited about something that feels so real. I find myself having to remind myself to slow down the way that I must with a really good page-turner, fiction book.
I look forward to the days when I will be able to offer true healing to anyone who will come for it, and I can't wait to tell them that I will not be charging them a thing. I'm one of those weird people who believe that the right to health shouldn't cost a thing.
I can't wait to have a garden and greenhouse full of fresh herbs and shelves lined with dried ones.
I feel a real fire in my bones and it doesn't feel like it can ever be snuffed out.
Yay!
I look forward to the days when I will be able to offer true healing to anyone who will come for it, and I can't wait to tell them that I will not be charging them a thing. I'm one of those weird people who believe that the right to health shouldn't cost a thing.
I can't wait to have a garden and greenhouse full of fresh herbs and shelves lined with dried ones.
I feel a real fire in my bones and it doesn't feel like it can ever be snuffed out.
Yay!
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