The Sun'll Come Out

Today is a better day.
After some brief panic when My SuperHero (husband) announced he was sick, we regrouped and realized we've made it this far and are so not going to get our asses handed to us by a cold. humpf
BoyChild happilly skipped out to the van to head to school this morning, his fever having broken yesterday morning, and my baby girl, Squeak, seems to have developed a taste for baby snot. Yum

I have an acupuncture treatment this evening that I am looking forward to. Sometimes I get better by leaps and bounds, and sometimes it feels like one step forward and two steps back, but I am always grateful for the relief in whatever form it comes.

I have been taking a tincture, called Soul Purpose, intended to aid meditation, lucid dreaming, etc, before my sessions and it's produced some pretty powerful thoughts, dreams, memories and ideas. I usually try to have something light to eat, like greens or fruit, drink some herbal infusion and meditate before hand I almost always come away feeling at least a tiny spring to my step, but often I walk to my car feeling powerful, spiritual and whole. It's like getting a whiff of fresh air when you've been trapped in a mine.

My Superhero was still up at 1am working, as usual, and says that he was able to pound out enough work to stay home and take it easy today. We're a family of Troopers, we are, and though we take turns in the lead, he is most often the steam that helps carry us through.

Thank you, Internets, for all your candles and healing light. We feel it.

xoxo

My Path

Sometimes there is pain in everything. A prison of pain, where turning my head makes me groan, opening my eyes must be done with a deep sigh. Those are the days when my kids hugs and my husbands touches are too much and must be given with eyes and words instead. Those are dark days. Those are the days that snuff out my light.
Today is one of those days.
There is a lot of pain today.

This is part of me right now.
Right now I am healing, my body and my spirit are healing, and it is a long and difficult path that I am walking, but I absolutely refuse to give up.
My path is dark and painful and hard at times, but it is a path. It won't always be like this. I can feel it. I may be in a thorn patch right now, I'm cut and sore, slowed down and sometimes snagged, but I can see the edge and there is softer ground ahead.
I can see a clearing and I can see myself lying in a soft bed of grass, patches of sunlight coming through the trees, warming my face and body. I can feel the healing power of this place.
I am getting there.

The day when hugs don't hurt and there are no more tears is coming. The day when I can hold my little baby with my arms instead of my eyes is coming.
It has to.
There is no other option and I believe.
I'm not meant to live this way for always.

The pain cannot trap me here. There is a better place and I will get there, no matter how much stomping, tearing and pain there is. I will get there and I will be free of this pain forever.
Light a candle for me so I can see the path.