My Path

Sometimes there is pain in everything. A prison of pain, where turning my head makes me groan, opening my eyes must be done with a deep sigh. Those are the days when my kids hugs and my husbands touches are too much and must be given with eyes and words instead. Those are dark days. Those are the days that snuff out my light.
Today is one of those days.
There is a lot of pain today.

This is part of me right now.
Right now I am healing, my body and my spirit are healing, and it is a long and difficult path that I am walking, but I absolutely refuse to give up.
My path is dark and painful and hard at times, but it is a path. It won't always be like this. I can feel it. I may be in a thorn patch right now, I'm cut and sore, slowed down and sometimes snagged, but I can see the edge and there is softer ground ahead.
I can see a clearing and I can see myself lying in a soft bed of grass, patches of sunlight coming through the trees, warming my face and body. I can feel the healing power of this place.
I am getting there.

The day when hugs don't hurt and there are no more tears is coming. The day when I can hold my little baby with my arms instead of my eyes is coming.
It has to.
There is no other option and I believe.
I'm not meant to live this way for always.

The pain cannot trap me here. There is a better place and I will get there, no matter how much stomping, tearing and pain there is. I will get there and I will be free of this pain forever.
Light a candle for me so I can see the path.